Finding Joy in Others' Success

I have a theory about people who are not well mentally.  One of the things I've noticed is that those who have some sort of mental issue is that they can't NOT focus on themselves.  Their conversations are focused on themselves and their needs alone.  They have very difficult time seeing past their own struggles to celebrate others' wins. 

As a parent, there should be a natural protection against this.  One of the things that I've found is that I'm way happier to see my kids do better at things than I have done. I'd much rather see them win at things than me.  I hope that when I teach them a skill that they will take what I've taught them at a young age and go well beyond what I've been able to achieve.  As parents, we spend most of our time working for their success, sometimes even to our own detriment. 

When I was growing up, I'd be fishing with my dad and there was always a competition about who was winning in the fish count.  There was good-natured ribbing if I had caught more fish than my dad or vice versa.  But in serious moments, my dad would say, "I'd much rather you catch fish than me."  That was confusing to me because of the competition we had about who was winning.  But I totally get that now. 

When the family joined me at the lake, there was so much joy in seeing them delight in the things to do there.  Many of these activities are things I grew up doing: boating, fishing, and tubing.  They LOVED catching fish... especially Madi.  I didn't promote that they fish.  They wanted to fish.  And it was fun rigging up their poles and trying to find the best spot so that they could reel one in. 

As parents, and hopefully as a friend or brother or sister in Christ, we should find joy in other people's successes.  We shouldn't secretly begrudge their wins, as if somehow their accomplishments diminish our own.  But we should relish those times when others we love are doing well.  It's the biblical idea of "rejoicing with those who rejoice." 


This week, Stacy and I have been able to put that to practice with our kids.  We're blessed with great kids who like to win at things and we draw closer to one another when we're working for their success.  The sabbatical focuses so much on the minister who receives the time to refresh himself.  But part of that renewal comes from investing in these folks who are on the journey with us.  One of the translations of Proverbs 11:25 is: "He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."  We find that to be most true when we're practicing that with our kids.